“My son-in-law is the only guy I’d trust with my secrets. A lot of them are incredibly perverted.” - Vince McMahon

“Triple H helped me get over my fear of snow. Life is so much easier now.” - Mark Henry

“In the summer of 2005, I was having problems with my wife, Linda. I confided in Triple H, and he assured me that my secrets would be kept. He didn’t tell anybody, dude. After talking with him, my marriage with Linda improved and now we’re happier than ever, brother!” - Hulk Hogan

“I had a reeeaallly big secret. I told Triple H. Sure, he didn’t want to date me anymore, but nobody knows I’m really a man, so I guess he kept quiet about it. Wait—.” - Joanie “Chyna” Laurer

“Heckuva guy.” - Drew Carey

“I tell Twiple H eveyting! One time, I stowe a video game frum Funcoland, n’ he didn’t tell da powice! But I knew wat I did was bad, and I confessed mysewf.” - Cody Rhodes

“I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t talk to Triple H.” - Chris Benoit

“OKAY! SO I WAS LIKE ABOUT TO PUNK TRIPLE H, RIGHT? AND I FOUND OUT THAT SOMEBODY ACTUALLY LIKE TOLD HIM THAT HE WAS GONNA GET PUNK’D! I WAS SO PISSED. BUT WE WENT THROUGH WITH THE PRANK ANYWAYS AND HE TOTALLY WENT ALONG WITH IT! SHIT, BRO! YOU CAN TELL THAT GUY ANYTHING!” - Ashton Kutcher

“I had a secret eating me up inside. I didn’t tell Triple H. Look what happened.” - King Booker